Late Night Jokes for October 22, 2012

  • At the second Presidential debate at Hofstra University, most of the audience members were Jewish.  This was evident when an audience member asked, “Mr. President, can the Jews eliminate the 5,000 year old ban on pork?”
  • One of Mitt Romney’s sons said he would like to punch Barack Obama during the second debate.  In response, the President’s daughter Malia Obama said she felt like smacking Romney in the face after the first debate, but she didn’t want to get the smell of asshole on her hand.
  • Today at Daytona Beach, Florida, the Romney staff played a touch football game against their traveling press corps.  Romney, however, was benched by his team mates  because he kept interrupting the quarterback’s play-calling in the huddle.
  • A 9-year-old girl dressed as a skunk for Halloween was accidentally shot to death.  The real tragedy here is that the douchy kid at the same party dressed as a mammogram inspector is still alive.
  • A popular myth promoted by conservative religious groups that the HPV vaccine causes promiscuity in teens has been debunked as false.  It was also proven that contracting HPV is much less likely than contracting false information from conservative religious groups.
  • Christina Aguilara was offered $3 Million to be the spokeswoman for a plus-sized dating website.  The Big and the Beautiful says although the offer has been made to the popstar, Aguilara is still chewing on it.  She is not sure she has the taste for a dating website.  So Aguilara is still trying to figure out if being spokeswoman will be a good fit.
  • The Detroit Tigers swept the New York Yankees to move on to the World Series.  The Tigers players said they feel very grateful not only for being in the World Series, but for being the only 20 guys in Detroit that still have jobs.
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