November 26, 2012
Late Night Jokes for November 26, 2012 – Thanksgiving Wrap-up
- Thanksgiving was last week. It’s the time of year when people say to themselves, “Of course, this reminds me why I dont keep in touch with my relatives.”
- Last week, millions of people lined up outside of stores like Best Buy to wait for Black Friday shopping to begin. And just to make people feel a little more desperate and pathetic, Best Buy employees sat inside the stores watching customers come up with crafty ways of going to the bathroom while standing in line.
- Wal-Mart started its Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving night at 8:00 PM. Cuz face it, if you’re shopping at Wal-Mart, missing Thanksgiving dinner with your family isn’t the worst of your problems.
- President Obama, per White House tradition, pardoned a Turkey last week. During the pardoning ceremony, the turkey had a big family, was loud, made annoying noises, and even snapped at the President. So they named the turkey Mitt Romney.
- Medical marijuana dispensaries in southern California were shut down recently. As a result, federal authorities are expected to get an increase in holiday ‘thank you’ cards from leaders of the drug cartels.
- Jack Taylor, a basketball player for Grinnell University, set an NCAA record with 138 points scored in a game against Faith Baptist Bible College. And with that, Jack Taylor proved that God doesn’t give a shit about sports.
- English performing artists Coldplay announced that they will be taking a 3-year break from playing together. They warned fans not to worry, because in the mean time, there’s plenty of other shitty new music out there to meander to.
- Historians during the last two weeks were proven wrong–yeah, they said there is no way Lincoln would do well in the theatre.