Seth MacFarlane said that he will not host the Oscars again. So in other words, the Oscars are going to give being unfunny and sterile a try again next year.
A 24-year-old father at a Van Nuys, California was arrested for leaving his 2-year-old daughter in his pick-up truck. His defense was, “changing poopy diapers in the strip club would have really hurt my chances of hooking up with a stripper.”
The International Olympic Committee has dropped Wrestling from the 2020 Olympics. The sport is not likely to return unless some combination of jello, mud, or nudity is involved.
A 7th-grader attached a Hello Kitty doll to a balloon and sent it to space for a science fair project. Although the contraption was complicated and expensive, the girl was flunked because her parents clearly did the project for her.
A study says that Alcohol consumption may ward-off dementia. And for non-alcohol drinkers, vomiting and beating one’s family members is also a great way to ward-off dementia.
Actor Steven Segal has been educating Arizona security officers on martial arts. After that, Segal got to be a guest lecturer on the secrets to filming flop movies and winning Razzies.
A new study says that sex makes people happiest. In a close second was free WiFi and watching footage of other people having sex.
Ikea has been caught selling Swedish meatballs containing horse meat. Their spokesman’s defense was “It could be worse, Bed Bath and Beyond’s meatballs contain human meat”.
A technology publication has said that iPhones should be protected from winter weather. So now Paris Hilton won’t be the only materialistic weasel that shops for NorthFace coats for her iPhone.
A new study says that human brains can remember a blog post much better than a novel. So the next 50 Shades of Grey novel will be about combining bondage and cat videos.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 26th, 2013 at 1:35 pm and posted in Late Night Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.