Late Night Jokes for October 5, 2013

The film adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey” has been casted. Kris Jenner will be playing the role of “leather whip”.

Fiction writer Tom Clancy passed away this week. The US Government vowed to carry out his legacy by letting the NSA keep doing what they do best.

The Government shutdown has resulted in the closing of all National Parks across the United States. As a result, millions of wild animals are happy as shit.

A woman from Georgia has been revealed to be the voice of the Apple operating system’s Siri. She also said that she was lost and needed driving directions back home.

Chris Brown admitted that he lost his virginity at the age of 8. He didn’t have intercourse, he just beat up a girl he loved for the first time.

Virgin Galactic has agreed to create a reality TV series with NBC where the winner gets to travel to space. The show is going to be called “The Real Dumbasses of the International Space Station”.

A research team in Dallas is claiming to have scientific proof that Big Foot is real. Still, the Texas-based researchers are convinced that evolution is just a myth.

A spray for treating pre-mature ejaculation could overtake Viagra as the world’s leading sex-medication. The active ingredient in the spray is whiskey. Ouch.

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