Late Night Jokes for October 11, 2013

Swimmer Diana Nyad reported that while she swam 90 miles from Cuba to Florida, she hallucinated scenes from “The Wizard of Oz”. Because of this, Nyad is now being investigated for LSD-coated steroids.

Since the beginning of 2013, World of Warcraft subscriptions have declined by 20%. At the same time, the nerdiest people in the world are reporting higher incidences of getting their first kiss.

Senator John McCain blamed the government shut down on the Tea Party. People have been agreeing with Senator McCain, particularly because he was at the original Boston Tea Party.

The Jonas Brothers have cancelled upcoming tour dates, spurring rumors of a possible break-up over diverging musical tastes. It appears that one brother wants to pursue rap, the second wants folk music, and the third brother wants to focus on becoming a musician.

Studies have shown Chicken McNuggets at McDonalds contain less than 50% chicken meat. To be fair, the word “chicken” is only 7 letters, while “McNuggets” is 9.

McDonalds will be distributing over 20 Million books as part of a new Happy Meal promotion. Here’s a few of the book titles
“Everybody Poops… A lot After a Happy Meal”
“Goodnight Sixpack”
“Bypass Surgery: The New McPlayground”

A study shows that viewing too many foods on Instagram can affect your taste buds to crave saltier, crunchier unhealthy foods. The study also shows that viewing too many sunsets on Instagram can cause viewers to crave saltier, crunchier sunsets.

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