Late Night Jokes for June 25, 2014

  • In a survey by CareerBuilder, only 14% of workers rate their bosses either a “D” or an “F”.  The other 86% aren’t allowed to use the internet while at work.
  • The US Supreme Court ruled that police may not search the mobile phones of people they arrest unless they have a search warrant.  Because of this, iTunes has listed the Ice-T classic hit, “Cop Killa” on sale for $0.99.
  • John Boehner has vowed to sue President Obama over his recent Executive Orders.   If this saga were a Netflix show, it would be called “Orange Sues the New Black”.
  • A Federal Appeals Court has ruled that Utah’s same-sex marriage ban is unconstitutional.  The reason this took so long to undo is because someone had to teach the whole state of Utah about the concept of sex.
  • Brazilian authorities forcibly displaced thousands of people from their homes and jobs to construct the facilities for the World Cup.  As a result, many soccer tourists are in the stands coping with unkempt vaginas.
  • A new Broadway musical about President Bill Clinton is coming.  No, that’s the title of the show: “Coming”.
  • LeBron James, now a free agent, is likely to be leaving the Miami Heat.  The 29-year-old star said he just wants to hog the ball with other people.
  • There are more museums in the US than there are Starbucks and McDonalds combined.  So we may be fat, diabetic, and caffeinated, but we’re curious too.
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