June 25, 2014
Late Night Jokes for June 25, 2014
- In a survey by CareerBuilder, only 14% of workers rate their bosses either a “D” or an “F”. The other 86% aren’t allowed to use the internet while at work.
- The US Supreme Court ruled that police may not search the mobile phones of people they arrest unless they have a search warrant. Because of this, iTunes has listed the Ice-T classic hit, “Cop Killa” on sale for $0.99.
- John Boehner has vowed to sue President Obama over his recent Executive Orders. If this saga were a Netflix show, it would be called “Orange Sues the New Black”.
- A Federal Appeals Court has ruled that Utah’s same-sex marriage ban is unconstitutional. The reason this took so long to undo is because someone had to teach the whole state of Utah about the concept of sex.
- Brazilian authorities forcibly displaced thousands of people from their homes and jobs to construct the facilities for the World Cup. As a result, many soccer tourists are in the stands coping with unkempt vaginas.
- A new Broadway musical about President Bill Clinton is coming. No, that’s the title of the show: “Coming”.
- LeBron James, now a free agent, is likely to be leaving the Miami Heat. The 29-year-old star said he just wants to hog the ball with other people.
- There are more museums in the US than there are Starbucks and McDonalds combined. So we may be fat, diabetic, and caffeinated, but we’re curious too.