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A Dog’s Commencement Speech for 2020 College Graduates

Congrats to all the 2020 graduates! 

Remember the words of advice from Charlie‘s the Golden Retriever’s commencement speech: 

“Fellow graduates, here are ten kibbles of advice for success and happiness that I have learned in my five years of pawing around this earth:

1: Although life can be ruff, the pack of friends you keep in your den will make the journey most enjoyable.

2: Wake up hungry. Wake up early. Even if it bothers the others in your den.

3: Take daily walks to clear your mind and your bowels, but also to explore new places. 

4: It’s okay to smell new things, but you don’t have to consume *every* new smell that drifts your way. Everybody wants a piece of your play time, but it’s up to you to have the will power to ignore/leave it, or sniff quick and move on to maintain focus on your goals. 

5: Wear your collar with pride and remember who you are. In fact, have multiple collars. 

6: A leash is a good thing—the restraint will keep you out of trouble. Embrace the safe times when you’re off-leash.

7: Sugar is not good for you. Avoid it at all costs. 

8: Never beg for what you want. Earn what you want.

9: Gratitude is everything. Gratitude doesn’t always have to be wet and slobbery—even a smile or a light nuzzle is enough to say ‘thank you.’

10: A tennis ball is the simplest of things. And if simple things can make you thrilled, your life will be thrilling.”


Guns N’ Roses Got Back Together ‘In This Lifetime’

Guns N’ Roses finally played a rock show again. And fans say it all lived up to the hype that has been building since the summer of 1993. Axl Rose, Slash, and Duff McKagan are officially back in the same band.

Friday night at the Troubador in Los Angeles, Guns N’ Roses played an intimate surprise concert. It had only been announced mere hours prior. A limited number of tickets (around 250) went on sale for only $10, setting off a massive line of would-be concert-goers at the corner of Sunset Boulevard and Horne Avenue by 10:00 AM.

By the evening, the excitement had been brewing all day.

Even as late as 11:00 PM, some fans congregating outside the Troubador speculated that this could be some elaborate April Fools prank. And if it was, the thirty or so sheriff’s deputies on hand would have had a long night of thwarting riots.

But all signs were proving that this was no hoax. Literally:

guns-n-roses-not-in-this-lifetime-troubador-west-hollywood-california-2016-troubador

Photo by Brian Fishbach

Under a marquee sign that read “GUNS N ROSES, NOT IN THIS LIFETIME,” hundreds of envious fans gathered outside the Troubador in black leather, red bandanas, and GNR concert shirts. A few lamented that they shelled out as much as $1,000 to buy scalped admission wristbands, only to find out they were scammed. Real fans that obtained the scarce wristbands knew they could not put a price on rock music history.

Before the show, a few A-list celebrities dined at the next door Italian restaurant, Dan Tana’s. Spotted among them were Bradley Cooper and his mother Gloria, David Arquette, Chris Brown, and Jim Carrey. Others inside the Troubador included Nicholas Cage, Andrew Dice Clay, Lana Del Ray, Colin Hanks, Kate Hudson, and Lenny Kravitz.

Bradley Cooper arriving at the Guns N' Roses reunion show in West Hollywood. April 1, 2016

Photo by Brian Fishbach

The West Hollywood concert venue only has a capacity of 500. But in a few days, Guns N’ Roses will be entertaining entire football stadiums, and even headlining Coachella. Face-value for some of the best seats is in the ballpark of $500.

As lucky fans and VIP guests made their way into the Troubador, they were instructed to tuck their phones into green pouches that lock shut. The pouches, made by tech company Yondr, thwart fans from polluting the concert with endless smartphone picture-takers and annoying amateur videographers. Comedians Dave Chapelle and Louie CK have required their audiences to use the Yondr pouches at their recent shows as well. It also keeps the bootleg audio of their newest jokes off the internet.

But the no-phones rule didn’t stop a few fans from snapping some photos from the inside. The first photo of Axl on stage posted to Instagram just after midnight.

axl troubador 2016

Photo by Instagram users kunkfu33 and ali_shayesteh_management

Guns N’ Roses opened with “It’s So Easy,” and tore through a thorough setlist that included radio hits “Mr. Brownstone,” “Welcome to the Jungle,” and “Sweet Child O’Mine.” They didn’t have time for the nine-minute ballad, “November Rain.” But it all built up to an encore that closed the night with “Paradise City.”

Like any ordinary concert, fans scooped-up paper setlists and Slash’s guitar picks. One fan even caught a whistle that Axl threw into the crowd.

All of the grateful attendees were issued a souvenir black ticket (since their prized admission ticket had only been a wristband.) It was clearly an homage to their humble roots in the 1980s Los Angeles glam-rock scene, blended with a modern-day hashtag, #GnFnR. The ticket read,

GUNS N’ ROSES

DATE: Fri. April 1st

TIME: Sometime After 11 PM

#GnFnR

This was no ordinary concert. Guns N’ Roses are back. And now they are all warmed up to go on their first tour together in over twenty years.

guns n roses ticket troubador 2016

Photo by Instagram user paulhebertphoto

guns n roses setlist 2016 troubador

Photo by Instagram user damipantaleone


Jeremy Piven and Deryck Whibley Rock Out in Hollywood

Jeremy Piven Drums, Deryck Whibley Returns to the Stage, & Playboy Playmates Dazzle—All for Charity

Jeremy Piven and Deryck Whibley Rock Out in Hollywood

By Brian Fishbach (@BrianFishbach)

While Horrible Bosses 2 was premiering at the TCL Chinese Theater, the best party in Hollywood last night was rocking just a block away—at a bowling alley of all places.

In support of The Los Angeles Regional Food Bank and hosted by Lucky Strike Live at the corner of Hollywood and Highland, the charity event was pure entertainment for the couple-hundred fans, friends, and family of the performers.

The night began with the band Toddsplanet, fronted by H20 founder and touring Offspring guitarist Todd Morse. The 10-piece orchestra featured a talented, energetic brood of musicians specializing in rock-hip-hop-groovy-hybrid cover songs mostly from the late 20th century. As they opened their set with covers of “Back in Black”, “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked”, and the Rolling Stones’ “Miss You”, the bowling alley turned into the House of Blues.

About halfway through the set, Morse called into the crowd for a guest drummer: strutting to the stage in a light-blue blazer came Entourage star Jeremy Piven. After a quick twirling of the drumsticks, Piven and the rest of Toddsplanet rocked a spot-on cover of Tom Petty’s “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”.

Later on, the bearded Piven would explain that his biggest influences in the drummer’s seat are Cream’s Ginger Baker, and Nirvana’s Dave Grohl.  And it showed.  Piven never missed a beat.

One of the biggest surprises of the night was when Morse called upon Sum 41 lead singer and guitarist Deryck Whibley to join the pumped-up musicians on stage in slaying a passionate rendition of the Rolling Stones’ “Bitch”.

Many in the packed bowling alley knew that seeing the 34-year-old Canadian rocker Whibley on stage was a special experience. Only six months ago, Whibley nearly died of alcohol-induced liver and kidney failure. But now, Whibley looks as healthy as ever on stage doing what he clearly loves most with six strings and amplified distortion.

When asked about how he’s doing, Whibley said with poise and pride, “I feel absolutely great…just making new stuff for Sum 41.”

Although Whibley and Piven were spotted taking pictures together in the middle of the crowd, it is not likely that the Emmy award-winning actor will be filling the vacant drummer job for Sum 41.

The night continued, until a 4-minute dance party erupted with Toddsplanet finishing their set with a cover of OutKast’s “Hey Ya!”

And as if the night needed any more entertainment, several Playboy Bunnies were in attendance. At one point, they joined Toddsplanet on stage for some backup dancing. The scene was fitting, since Todd Morse’s wife Kim Phillips was Playboy’s Miss September 2009.

Punk fans would be delighted to know that also spotted in attendance were legendary stage manager Kenny Leath, former Bad Religion guitarist Greg Hetson, and Sugarcult’s Marko DeSantis. By the end of the night, the Lucky Strike bowling alley no longer felt like the House of Blues. As Morse described, it felt like a bunch of friends having fun and raising money for a great cause by rocking out in their garage.


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